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Today is the 17th anniversary of that time Fabio was smashed in the face by a goose at Busch Gardens

Fabio is so at peace with being goosed in the face.

AP

Fabio is so at peace with being goosed in the face.

Roller coasters are fun. Anniversaries are fun. This photo of Fabio is super-duper fun.

It has a little bit of everything: concern, laughter, bewilderment, disgust. A gaggle of women dressed as Greek ladies of yore. Blood.

It was 17 years ago today that the golden-tressed, open-shirted model strapped himself in for the first public ride of Apollo's Chariot at Busch Gardens Williamsburg. And it was on that day in a much simpler 1999 that the god-like humanoid suffered the bizarre, odds-defying injury of goose to face while plummeting down the ride's first drop at 70 mph.

If you don't remember the incident, or if you brushed it off as an April Fools' Day joke back then, allow me to retell the tale.

An ill-fated waterfowl with unfortunate timing soared in front of the roller coaster's car and was struck and killed via broken neck. The bird's carcass then tumbled backward and crashed into Fabio's nose, causing an impressive laceration that would require three stitches. Fortunately, the model didn't break any bones - or die - but his face was rather swollen when all was said and done. …

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R&B singer Kehlani survives apparent suicide attempt after cheating rumors go viral

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Rumors can be dangerous.

Hours after word spread that R&B up-and-comer Kehlani was supposedly cheating on NBA star Kyrie Irving, the Did I singer was hospitalized and placed on psychiatric hold after attempting suicide.

According to TMZ, Kehlani took to Instagram on Monday to post a photo of an IV in her arm and a message about hitting rock bottom.

“Today I wanted to leave this earth,” the 20-year-old wrote in a post that has since been deleted. “Being completely selfish for once. Never thought I’d get to such a low point.”

Kehlani claimed she never cheated on the 24-year-old Cleveland Cavaliers star, but rather broke up with him and got back together with her true love and former flame, Toronto singer Party Next Door.

“Don’t believe the blogs you read,” Kehlani wrote. “No one was cheated on and I’m not a bad person … Everyone is hurt and everyone is in a place of misunderstanding. But as of today, I had no single wish to see tomorrow. But God saved me for a reason, and for that… I must be grateful. Cuz I’m not in heaven right now for a reason.” …

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Mariah Carey to star in E! (reality-ish) show

Expect to see lots of super casual 35-carat ring exposure.

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Expect to see lots of super casual 35-carat ring exposure.

Reality TV was the beginning of the end for Whitney Houston, but Mariah Carey appears to be blissfully unaware of, or at least undeterred by, the hazards of living in front of a camera.

The superstar will give viewers a peek into her life on a new E! show as she tours in Europe and South Africa. The eight-part docuseries also will feature the singer planning her wedding to billionaire James Packer. (It’s rumored to be a Caribbean celebration, though no date has been set for the spring affair.)

But wait, don’t use the R-word to describe this show, Carey says.

“I refuse to call it a reality show,” she told the New York Times, saying it’s not about “here I am getting my nails done” but about showing who she is as a person.

“I thought it would be a good opportunity to kind of, like, show my personality and who I am, even though I feel like my real fans have an idea of who I am,” she said. “A lot of people have misperceptions about this and that.”

The network is pretty pumped about scoring such a huge name. …

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Newlywed Ne-Yo welcomes son with Crystal Renay Smith

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Newlywed with a newborn.

Ne-Yo and bride Crystal Renay Smith got married just in time. The newlyweds, who tied the knot three weeks ago, just welcomed their first child together.

“Prince SJ has arrived,” Renay Smith captioned a Snapchat image of herself holding her son’s hand Tuesday night.

The couple announced in August that they were expecting and engaged.

“Clearing the air..@mscrystalrenay and I are ENGAGED to be married next year. And yes we are expecting #FromTheHorsesMouth,” the singer tweeted.

Ne-Yo (né Shaffer Smith) is already dad to son Mason Evan, 4, and daughter Madilyn Grace, 5. The pair wed on Feb. 20 in an oceanside Los Angeles ceremony. Renay Smith was a bit intimidated to be so pregnant while also being the center of attention.

“I’m gonna be honest: I’m nine months pregnant — I’m nervous about falling on my face,” she told People.

Looks like she made it.

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Jamie Dornan welcomes baby with wife Amelia Warner

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Actor Jamie Dornan and his wife, Amelia Warner, have welcomed their second child together. Though the couple haven’t announced the baby’s arrival, name or sex, Warner was spotted pushing a stroller around Notting Hill, and Dornan was photographed back on the set of Fifty Shades Darker in Vancouver.

The pair wed in 2013 and are parents to a 2-year-old girl named Dulcie.

“I love fatherhood,” Dornan told British Vogue in February 2015. “These last couple of years have been quite something. But we’re enjoying it.”

Dornan even embraces the whole fifty-shades-of-diapers situation.

“Before I had my daughter I changed my niece’s nappy on a horrific occasion in Hyde Park. And it was like more shit than I’d ever seen in my life,” he told UK’s Stylist. “I was with my wife, who wasn’t my wife at the time, and it was quite early on in the relationship. I was like, 'I’m not sure I could ever get used to this.’ But you do, and you don’t even think about it. Weirdly, I get enjoyment out of changing a nappy. I find it such a leveling thing.”

Dad of the year?

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'Indiana Jones 5' is happening

Look, I’m as big an Indiana Jones fan as anyone. There was a time in my life when I couldn’t decide who I wanted to be more: Indy or Marion (or McGyver, but that’s another story for another day).

You’d think I’d be thrilled to hear Disney’s announcement that Indiana Jones 5 is a go, with Harrison Ford, love of my life, reprising his iconic role in an epic directed by Steven Spielberg.

“Indiana Jones is one of the greatest heroes in cinematic history, and we can’t wait to bring him back to the screen in 2019,” Walt Disney Studios chairman Alan Horn said in a statement. “It’s rare to have such a perfect combination of director, producers, actor and role, and we couldn’t be more excited to embark on this adventure with Harrison and Steven.”

So yes, I’ll watch it, just like I gutted through Sex and the City 2, the movie that will live in infamy.

Indy 5 doesn’t have a fancy title yet, and Chris Pratt is rumored to be in talks to co-star, a huge step up from Shia LaBeouf, praise be, and possibly the only person who could successfully carry this franchise into a new era. …

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So many drugs found in Chumlee’s house

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The arrest report is out, and it looks like Chumlee really loves him some drugs or some selling of drugs, but innocent until proven guilty, right?

We’ll get to the log of contraband found in the Pawn Stars personality’s home, but first, a message from his attorneys:

“We will be analyzing what was allegedly found and whether the alleged seizure was lawful in a courtroom, not in the media,” David Chesnoff and Richard Schonfeld told TMZ. “Austin [Russell] has great faith in the judicial system, as do we, and looks forward to a just resolution of this matter.”

So, back to the laundry list of narcotics. Police found in Chumlee’s Nevada home:

1 gallon Ziploc with 116 grams (1/4 pound) of marijuana
2 clear jars of marijuana (8.2 grams and 2.8 grams)
1 bag with 4.4 grams marijuana
7 clear capsules with 1.7 grams of methamphetamine powder
17 Xanax bars …

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Madonna is melting down on stages across Australia

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Well, it sounds like Madonna, not Richard Simmons, is the one who may be losing it.

In the thick of a custody dispute over son Rocco with ex-husband Guy Ritchie, the Material Girl had a meltdown on stage at a packed concert in Australia on Saturday night.

According to the New York Post’s Page Six, Madge downed a bunch of tequila onstage, begged for someone to “f--- me,” and called her ex-husband a “son of a b----” at Melbourne’s Rod Laver Arena.

The 57-year-old fell while riding a tiny tricycle, sprawled out on stage and told fans she “messed up,” adding, “You would think it was in my DNA.”

She later rambled, “Please, someone f- -- me. I’m just kidding. I don’t have to ask for that.”

Could her behavior be a cry for help? Sounds like it, quite literally.

“Someone please take care of me, please. Who is going to take care of me?” the singer asked in one of many rants, according to Britain’s Sun newspaper.

Madonna reportedly drank from a flask and a bottle of tequila during the performance, which included a weird tribute to her son. …

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Richard Simmons speaks out on being alive and well

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You know how sometimes you just want to escape to Livingston, Mont., and become a hermit for the rest of your life because enough with all the people and traffic and construction noises already?

No? Just me?

Well, Richard Simmons and I must be spirit animals or something because it turns out the fitness superstar is just chilling in his Hollywood Hills mansion and is allegedly fine and clear-minded and just wants to be left alone.

“I am not kidnapped,” the 67-year-old fitness guru told Entertainment Tonight’s executive producer, Brad Bessey, during a phone interview on Sunday. “I am just in my house right now.”

The interview was recorded and posted on ET Online, and Simmons sounds just fine. He just wants to have some peace and quiet, okay?

“No one should be worried about me,” said the Sweatin’ to the Oldies star. “The people that surround me are wonderful people who take good care of me.”

The interview follows a story published by the New York Daily News in which several friends said they were “very concerned” about Simmons after he ghosted them in 2013. His last public appearance was in 2014. …

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Ciara and Russell Wilson are finally engaged

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It was only a matter of time because, let’s be real: Russell Wilson was never going to not consummate his relationship with Ciara. So here’s the news: The pair are planning to get married and finally end all that celibacy business.

“Following Paris Fashion Week, Russell surprised Ciara with a surprise holiday,” the singer’s rep told People.

The Seattle Seahawks quarterback played a game of “travel roulette,” giving his bride-to-be a list of 30 destinations to guess where they would end up.

“She was shocked when they landed in the Seychelles at the exclusive resort North Island,” Ciara’s rep said.

Russell got down on one knee and proposed at the private Honeymoon Beach, making sure to post a video describing the moment on Instagram, because that’s how society do.

“She said Yes!!! Since Day 1 knew you were the one. No Greater feeling… #TrueLove,” Wilson, 27, captioned the clip.

“He got that ALL factor.... He got it ALLL....” tweeted Ciara, 30.

“God is Good!” she wrote in another tweet. “Grateful For You @ DangRussWilson. You Are Heaven Sent. I’m Looking Forward To Spending Forever With You,” adding,” I feel complete,” along with a snapshot of the proposal. …

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Where is Richard Simmons? Friends say fitness guru is being held against his will

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Iconic, super-fun fitness instructor Richard Simmons has been noticeably absent from public view for years, and now everyone is freaking out about the mystery. And by everyone we mean the New York Daily News.

In a long-read piece, the News reports that the man behind Sweatin’ to the Oldies is being held in his Hollywood Hills home against his will — by none other than his longtime housekeeper, Teresa Reveles.

But Simmons’ rep, Tom Estey, has denied allegations, telling People, “As I have stated in the past, these claims are untrue and preposterous. Richard, after 40 years of being in the spotlight, is now simply taking a break from the public eye and working behind the scenes to continue to help those millions of people worldwide in need of his assistance and on several projects to be announced soon.”

According to the report, the 67-year-old began ghosting old friends in 2013, even missing funerals of those who were closest to him, behavior very much unlike the warm, reliable man acquaintances knew for years. …

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Behati Prinsloo and Adam Levine expecting what we imagine will be a perfect little cherub

#parents

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#parents

Genetic lottery alert: Model Behati Prinsloo is pregnant with her first child with The Voice coach Adam Levine, and we expect the beauty will be too much for our peasant corneas to bear.

According to Us Weekly, the 26-year-old Victoria’s Secret Angel is three or four months along, as is customary for someone who is announcing a pregnancy. The Maroon 5 frontman is reportedly “over the moon.”

Said the 36-year-old Sugar singer one month after the couple’s summer 2014 Mexico wedding: “We’re definitely going to do it,” telling Ryan Seacrest, “I want to have 100 kids. I want to have more kids than would be socially responsible.”

Prinsloo was on board, telling Net-a-Porter’s The Edit that she had “definite” plans to be a mom.

The couple began dating in 2012 and tied the knot in a luxe ceremony a couple years later.

“She’s the best in the world,” Levine said at the 2014 Tribeca Film Festival, making us feel nauseated to the point of grabbing our deskside paper-only trash receptacle, just in case.

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Alec and Hilaria Baldwin pregnant with third child in as many years

Machines.

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Machines.

There is no quit in Alec Baldwin. Just nine months after welcoming son Rafael, the 57-year-old actor announced on Instagram that he and wife Hilaria, 32, are expecting their third child in three years, which is just the craziest thing anyone could ever attempt, but to each his or her own.

Ireland, Carmen, Rafael, Hilaria and I are excited to share with you that we are going to have another little addition to our family,” the actor wrote on Wednesday.

The newbie is due in the fall.

Carmen will be 3 in August, and Rafael has yet to celebrate his first birthday. The 30 Rock superstar is also father to 20-year-old model Ireland Baldwin with ex-wife Kim Basinger.

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Jillian Michaels is engaged to Heidi Rhoades

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Because ratings are important and some people may never have heard of this E! reality show until this writing, Jillian Michaels has given up the fight to remain unhitched and finally proposed to longtime partner Heidi Rhoades on the season finale of Just Jillian, giving a happy ending to fans who followed the will-they-or-won’t-they drama since it began years ago, with Heidi wanting to wed and the personal trainer resisting.

Here’s how it went down: Jillian played a highlight reel of their relationship — photos, romantic messages, footage of the couple’s kids, Lu and Phoenix. There were tears. The montage ended with friends and family holding signs that read, “Will you marry me?”

Then Jillian got down on one knee and asked ever so properly, “I know I’m an a--hole all the time, but if you’ll continue to put up with me, I would like you to marry me.”

Then she gifted herself a matching ring.

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Chumlee of 'Pawn Stars' arrested during raid

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Not a good time for Chumlee.

The Pawn Stars personality was being investigated for an allegation of sexual assault when police entered his home and found enough evidence to lock him up for a bit.

According to TMZ, Las Vegas Metro PD showed up with a warrant at Chumlee’s home on Wednesday afternoon. What they may not have expected to find: pot, meth and at least one gun.

Chumlee was taking into custody and booked for drug and weapon possession. He's since been released on $62,000 bond and plans to fight all charges and allegations.

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